The word legacy has popped up several times for me this week and I found it penetrating my heart this evening.
I have about a twenty minute drive from when I get off work until I pick my youngest daughter up from her preschool. It is my twenty minutes to crank up my praise and worship music and wind down my heart.
But today I kept the music low and had some prayer time as I pondered over the word "legacy" and what it means to me.
We all want to leave a legacy, but the question is: "What kind of legacy do you want to leave?"
How do you want to be remembered?
When my girls bury me, I hope they remember their momma as one fierce lady.
I hope my daughters look at their momma and can without a doubt say that their momma loved Jesus, she loved people, and she unashamedly pursued the passions that God placed on her heart.
Our time on earth is limited and I don't want to spend mine just passing through and catering to my own selfish desires.
May my daughters always remember a momma who was passionate and never did anything half-heartedly. May they remember a momma who put Jesus first and valued people over anything else that this earth can provide.
May they remember a momma who loved them so much that she fought fiercely to make the world a better place for them, never being content to sit idly by and hope for the best. May they remember a momma who fell on her knees in prayer and then stood to her feet in action.
May they remember a momma whose voice cried out to Jesus in one breath and then in the next spoke up for the oppressed.
May they remember a momma who was nowhere close to perfect...who messed up on a daily basis...but who through those mistakes gained patience with others and learned to grant grace to those around her.
May they remember a momma who cared. May the word passive never be used in the same sentence with their momma's name, but rather, let passionate be used often.
May they remember a momma who taught them that they could be anything they wanted to be in life, but who also taught them the importance of fighting to make sure that every other person in this world was afforded that same privilege. May they remember a momma who taught them to look out for those who are so often overlooked; a momma who taught them that sacrificing for another person is never an inconvenience and it's always worth it.
I don't care if they look back and say "My momma was successful at everything she pursued" because that will never ever happen. As long as they look back and say that they know without a doubt that their momma loved Jesus and that she always pursued justice and compassion with everything that she had, then I will have been as successful as I could ever want to be.
A legacy of loving and sharing Jesus, loving people, passion, compassion, and kindness. That's what I will actively pursue to leave behind me.
Waiting is hard to do. In fact, I think waiting seasons, at least for me, are the some of the hardest seasons in life.
With mountains and valleys, you kind of know what to expect; how and when to brace yourself. But what about plateaus? You're waiting to see what comes next and you don't know where to brace yourself for a fall into a valley, or a climb up a mountain, or smooth coasting
God plants a dream in your heart. You pray about it consistently. You seek Him and His direction. And you wait and you trust.
Waiting seasons are vulnerable seasons and that's hard. It's easy to get frustrated or sad or mad or any range of emotions. There are moments where it seems that giving up on the dream that God has planted in your heart may be the easier route.
We live in an age of instant gratification.
That makes seasons of waiting a temptation to plow over God's plans for us with our own plans. It's hard to resist that temptation. I know. I have been there far too many times.
Seasons of waiting are not times of complacency. They do not mean that you just sit around and wait to see what happens next. You dive into the Word. You dive into prayer. Talk to Him. Seek Him.
Sometimes, in the seasons of waiting, we may question His love for us or feel like He has abandoned us. But He is right there, friend. His love for you is indescribable. He has special plans for you in every season, but the waiting is where I find that He teaches me the most.
I know that at times you will want to cry out. Do it. He's listening. I know at times you will want to throw in the towel and think that the journey you are on is pointless.
But then, if you keep seeking Him and trusting Him, you will find Him in the waiting. It is in the seasons of waiting that you see the magnitude of your dependence on Him as you have zero control over what happens. It is in the seasons of waiting where you have to trust and you have to exercise faith.
It's still hard. It's not in our nature to wait and trust. Our human nature wants control over every moment of life. But that's the beauty of this time.
When we let go of that need for control...
When we completely abandon it for trust in the God who intricately wove us together...
When we put it behind us with the cross before us...
When we toss it aside and trade it in for radical faith...
We find beauty in the waiting. We find meaning in the waiting. We find value in the waiting.