Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Trust & the Unknown

Trust--it's a funny thing. There are some people in life we automatically trust--family, teachers, pastors, etc. For most people, it takes a lot of time to truly trust someone.

I'll be the first to admit that I have some trust issues. It takes a long time for me to truly trust someone. If you break it, while I will forgive you, I probably won't trust you again. I just don't give it very freely.

One of the worst feelings in the world is to be in a position where you find yourself questioning the trust you have put in someone. That hurts a lot.

What's worse? When in an instant your complete trust in someone is shattered into a million tiny pieces--someone you automatically trusted--who you thought you would never have to worry about. Have you ever broken a glass? You can try to pick up all the pieces, but usually you end up getting the vacuum cleaner or broom to get the rest. Even then, you may still be finding tiny little pieces for days. It's almost impossible to get all of it up and there is absolutely no way you could put all of those tiny pieces back together. That's the image I think of when I think about broken trust.

So, I titled this "Trust & the Unknown" because both of those have been on my mind today.

Nothing causes me more stress than the unknown. Specifically, when I don't know what someone is thinking--even more specifically when I don't know what someone is thinking about something I've trusted them with. I hope that makes sense.

I'm terrible about taking something that is stressful to me and holding it deep inside. I'll analyze it and go through every detail until it consumes all of my thoughts. I will torture myself with it. Is that the right way to handle stress? Absolutely not, but I have this tendency to feel that by sharing my troubles with someone I am being a burden, so I keep it to myself.

Another random post--just really needed to get some things off my chest today.


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