Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Not What I Thought it Would Be

As I sit here on this Saturday starting Christmas festivities with my girls, I think about this journey I'm on as a parent. Motherhood is not what I imagined it would be.

I imagined motherhood to be picking out my favorite names and always having perfectly groomed children in adorable monogrammed outfits. I'd feed them perfect meals and never lose my temper.

I never imagined I'd clean so many bodily fluids, and some of the smells that come with motherhood, well you can't possibly imagine unless you've been there. I never imagined I'd be scrubbing poop off the wall (thanks Cathleen) or doing a last minute hair wash in the sink because my four year old got sucker in her hair right before school. 

I never imagined that we would have cereal for dinner some nights because by the time we got home from school, work, ballet, or riding horses, no one would have enough energy to even say the word cook. I never imagined that I would be so tired that I would have the same bed time as my four year old and have days where I felt like I could go to bed at 6:00.

I never imagined that I would have an awkward looking Christmas tree because my four year old can only reach so high and so the bottom is ornament heavy. I never imagined that I would leave my house in sweat pants, no makeup, and a pony tail with a nice accessory of baby drool because some mornings it's all I can do to get my kids ready when we have important things to discuss like who Big Moma lived with when she was a little girl.

I never imagined that there would be days that my house was a mess because those minutes were better spent on the floor coloring pictures or curled up in the recliner reading Fancy Nancy.

I never imagined that I could love anyone as much as I love my kids. I never imagined that any person could light up my life like they do every day. I never imagined that things like going to the zoo would be even more exciting as an adult because I get to see the excitement on their faces. I never imagined that I would be anyone's superhero. I never imagined that someone would be so fascinated by little things I do that go unnoticed by others. I never imagined that a crayon covered, construction paper card could be more valuable than gold.

I never imagined that motherhood would be this fulfilling. I never imagined that it would be this good.


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