Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Catch up!

I haven't blogged in over a week! Crazy, right? Nausea and sickness wise, this pregnancy has been a breeze so far. Although with Audrey I never got sick until I was nine weeks, so I'm not going to brag about that just yet. While I haven't been sick much, I've been feeling completely exhausted. Lately I literally feel like I could sleep all day if it was possible (well, getting up to eat of course!).

Speaking of eating, I can't get full. I eat and an hour later I feel like I haven't eaten in days. I constantly have a snack in my hand. I'm trying to make them healthy snacks so I don't turn into a blimp. I'm eight weeks pregnant and have already had strangers compliment me on my "bump". I made the ultrasound tech double check on Tuesday that there was only one baby. Yes, there is only one--one beautiful little blueberry sized baby. I've never been so excited to feel so miserable.

On Tuesday, baby had a healthy heartbeat with a rate of 169 and is growing right on schedule. It's funny how after losing a baby, even good news only comforts me for so long. Everything with Barrett was always good news too. Then he was just gone. I have insane fears of that happening again. I so badly want to bring this baby home. Being pregnant shouldn't be this scary, but that's the life of a BL mom expecting her rainbow. Dads too. I know this pregnancy is scary for my husband too. He's scared of enduring that pain again just like I am.

I spent my morning at the hospital today for an EEG. It went as ok as an EEG can go I guess. I was definitely ready to get out of there well before it was over. I finally got all the glue out my hair and it actually feels like hair again. I just keep reminding myself I've got to do all of this stuff to stay healthy for Baby C.

I also wanted to share a song I heard today that I had not heard in awhile:

Much of You
Steven Curtis Chapman


How could I stand here
And watch the sun rise
Follow the mountains
Where they touch the sky

Ponder the vastness
And the depths of the sea
And think for a moment
The point of it all
Was to make much of me

'Cause I'm just a whisper
And You are the thunder and

I want to make much of You, Jesus
I want to make much of Your love
I want to live today to give You the praise
That You alone are so worthy of

I want to make much of Your mercy
I want to make much of Your cross
I give You my life
Take it and let it be used
To make much of You

And how can I kneel here
And think of the cross
The thorns and the whip
And the nails and the spear
The infinite cost

To purchase my pardon
And bear all my shame
To think I have anything worth boasting in
Except for Your name

'Cause I'm a sinner
And You are the Savior and

I want to make much of You, Jesus
I want to make much of Your love
I want to live today to give You the praise
That You alone are so worthy of

I want to make much of Your mercy
I want to make much of Your cross
I give You my life
Take it and let it be used
To make much of You

This is Your love, oh, God
Not to make much of me
But to send Your own Son
So that we could make much of You
For all eternity

And I want to make much of You, Jesus
I want to make much of Your love
I want to live today to give You the praise
That You alone are so worthy of

I want to make much of Your mercy
I want to make much of Your cross
I give You my life
Take it and let it be used
To make much of You

I want to make much of You
Much of You, Jesus



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