Monday, April 29, 2013

Family Traditions

Audrey and I have started a new tradition for the two of us. Thursdays are now our Library Day. She has been so excited to visit our Public Library and since deciding on homeschooling, I thought this would be a great thing to do with her each week.

We went last Thursday for the first time and she was so excited. When she woke up that morning she said "Mommy, what day is it?". When I told her "Thursday", she said "It's library day!". (They never forget anything!).

When I got home that afternoon we headed to the library and she was overflowing with excitement. I told her she could pick out five books to read for this week. She very quickly picked her five books and headed to the checkout counter.
When we got home, we sat down and read four of them together and then she had her Daddy read her the fifth book. We have continued to read this group of books and she is already excited about going back this week to exchange them for five new books.

I'm loving our new little traditions and it warms my heart when she gets so excited about them. I am treasuring every little moment with my sweet girl and can't wait for little Cate to join us.
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Thursday, April 18, 2013

Barrett on the Brain

I've had Barrett on my mind a lot yesterday and today. Today is what we in the baby loss community refer to as my POL. POL=point of loss.

I was 18 weeks when I found out Barrett died. I'm now 18 weeks pregnant.

POL causes so many emotions. It's scary because the number 18 is associated with his death in my head. At the same time, it also gives me hope that I am sitting here at 18 weeks and I can feel baby Cate rolling around and squirming. I have to remind myself this is a different pregnancy. I think having a girl is helping with that.

A friend posted this on my Facebook yesterday:

I love this because it's exactly how I am feeling right now. The joy of Cate's beautiful life doesn't take away from the pain of Barrett's beautiful life coming to an end. Having Cate has not made me forget about him--if anything, I probably think of him more now. But what Cate has brought to my husband and myself is a ray of light in the dark storm we are still passing through.

You know when it's storming outside and the sun starts to peek from the clouds? The clouds are still dark and still there and the rain is still coming down, but that sun peeking through provides a glimmer of hope that you will make it through the storm. That's what Cate has been for my family--that glimmer of hope.

The storm is still raging but she gives us something to hold onto and look forward to in this life until we can see Barrett again.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Scarlett and Bonnie get new collars

Scarlett and Bonnie, our two huskies, have needed new collars for awhile now. I could not find one to fit them anywhere!

They were either too big or too small. SO I looked on Etsy to try to find custom collars for them--I love Etsy--it's definitely my go to place.

The collars I found are so cute--you can choose the pattern, font, and color of lettering so it's completely personalized. Bonnie and Scarlett have different color giraffe print collars with their name and our phone number.

I love that their information is on the collar so I don't have to worry about a tag falling off.

I was able to measure their necks and get a personalized collar that fits each of them perfectly plus they are ADORABLE.

I don't have any pictures of the girls wearing them right now because we are in the process of shedding our winter coats, and who wants a picture taken on a bad hair day?

I will say these collars look even better in person and I was beyond happy with them.

Need a cute collar for your furry kids?

Check out SamanthasEmbroidery on Etsy.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Bumpdate and Wisdom from Audrey

Wanted to share my bi-weekly "bumpdate" picture...anatomy scan tomorrow--he or she? 
I have been feeling baby move a lot today and I am treasuring each little thump. It is absolutely the best feeling in the world. Every little movement makes me even more excited for September when I can finally hold this sweet baby. 
I posted the other day that Audrey was riding horses on Friday afternoons. When we went the Friday before last, there was a horse there that was not feeling so well. When we were leaving the stables that day she said "Mommy, we need to pray for that horse because he doesn't feel good". So, for the next week we prayed for that horse every day.

I didn't think much about it this past Friday when we headed back out there. When we walked into the barn, Audrey said "Mommy, I know that horse is better because I prayed for him". I didn't hit me right in that moment, but later when I really thought about the faith she displayed in that statement.

I love the faith of a child. They trust unconditionally--something that we unfortunately lose as the world beats us up along the way. She never even questioned whether that horse would be better--she just had faith that because she had taken it to God that He had listened and made that horse better.

Yes, the horse was feeling much better. Ever since Friday I have thought about this several times. I've thought about how confident she was in God and how much I tend to doubt. I thought about how much she trusted Him and how much I try to lean on myself instead.

I pray for a faith like hers--an innocent and unconditional love and trust in a God that loves us more than I could ever describe--faith like a child.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

17 Weeks!

Today I am 17 weeks into my pregnancy. I spent a few minutes of my morning with my husband listening to baby Luker's heartbeat drumming through the Doppler. It is a beautiful sound and one that I really need to hear right now as I quickly approach the point in my pregnancy that I lost Barrett in August.

Barrett was born sleeping at 18 weeks and that is a scary number for me. Because of this I am being a little more obsessive about using my Doppler until I get past that point. Though I have been buying for baby here and there, there are times when it is hard for me to accept that I will have a baby in September. At the same time, every time I hear that heartbeat pounding through or feel those flickers of movement, I get a little more excited. I never felt Barrett move past 16.5 weeks. I just felt this baby about an hour ago.

On Monday afternoon, Brent, Audrey and I will go in for the anatomy scan. This will be the first time Audrey has ever been to an ultrasound and I am so excited for her to see her little sibling. She never got to see Barrett and I hate that.

We are crossing our fingers that we find out the gender on Monday also. Hopefully during the long anatomy scan we will get a peek between the legs! I am ready to call this baby by name and Audrey is looking for confirmation that her gut instincts of a sister are correct. (She says she already has a brother, so she HAS to have a sister this time--we will see!)

If we find out, be looking for a gender reveal on the blog Monday night--if nothing else we will have some new pictures of baby Luker up!

I can't wait to see our precious baby again!

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Meet Bella

Introducing our newest foster puppy, Bella. Bella was supposed to be a lab through Labs4Rescue, but she was definitely incorrectly labeled at the shelter. Bella only weighs about 2 pounds--definitely not a lab puppy! But I am in LOVE with her and wouldn't have it any other way. Brent and I are thinking Chihuahua/Jack Russell or something along though lines. She will probably be around ten pounds full grown.

She is two pounds of cuteness and so stinkin sweet. I love this puppy! Bella is staying with us until she finds her forever home!

Monday, April 8, 2013

Dreaming of Horses

If I've never mentioned it on here before, Audrey LOVES horses. Since she could talk she has shown an interest in them. For a while I figured she would outgrow it, but over three years later horses are still her favorite thing in the world.

We have horse pajamas, horse movies, toy horses--everything is horses!

Her favorite books to read, are guessed it, HORSES!

She definitely got a love for animals from her Momma, but I was never an avid horse lover. I mean I like horses and I think they're gorgeous, it was just not something I ever did until Audrey came along.

I decided recently that she is old enough for me to allow her to begin to pursue this dream of hers. With my new job I get off at twelve on Fridays, so Friday afternoon is our Mommy/Daughter time when I pick something special to do with her.

I'm excited to say that our Friday afternoons will now be spent with her doing her favorite thing in the world while I watch that big grin on her face.

Last Friday was the first lesson for her and I haven't seen her that excited about something in awhile. She kept screaming (and I literally mean screaming) "Mommy, look at me!", "Mommy, I'm doing it by myself!", "Mommy watch me do this!".

I was so happy to see her that excited that I was seriously almost in tears. I love seeing her doing something she loves.

Last night she had one of her baby dolls on her toy horse giving her riding lessons--adorable!

I look forward to spending these afternoons with her and riding with her after the baby comes.

Thank you Ktk Stables for providing my daughter with this experience!!