Monday, November 19, 2012

Lay 'em Down

I'm still on a NeedtoBreathe kick. LOVE their music. One of my favorites is Lay 'em Down.

Come down to the river
Come and let yourself in
Make good on a promise
To never hurt again
If you're lost and lonely
You're Broken down
Bring all of your troubles
Come lay 'em down

All you sinners

And the weak at heart
All you helpless
On the boulevards
Wherever you are now
Whatever evil you've found
Bring all of your troubles
And come lay 'em down

We're all tied to the same old failing

Finding shelter in things we know
We're all dirty like corrupted small towns
We'll bring our troubles
We'll bring our troubles
Lay 'em down

All you rich men

And the high above
All of those with and without love
All you burdened broken down
Bring all of your troubles
Come lay 'em down

My independence is a huge weakness of mine. I don't like to feel like I am burdening anyone by asking them to do something or asking for help. I've noticed that sometimes I carry that over into my relationship with God. Sometimes I'm dealing with so much and instead of stopping and giving it to God, I try to handle it on my own. Eventually, I wear out and I need that reminder that I don't have to carry the weight of the world. I have been trying so hard lately to take time every day to write down what I am "carrying" that day and just drop the load.

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30

Yesterday God gave me that reminder. It was amazing the difference in how I felt after taking the time to sit down and just talk to God about everything that has been going on in my life lately; the little things, the big things, just everything. It is so comforting to me to know that I can take all of my troubles and lay them down at the feet of Jesus. 

This grieving is still so new to me. Almost three months after losing Barrett, most days are good, but I have days where something seemingly insignificant can trigger the waterworks. In seconds I can go from smiling to uncontrollable sobs. But I am learning that that's normal. However you grieve, that's normal. No two people grieve the same way. I grieve by making sure Barrett is not forgotten. I want to ensure his memory and his legacy live on long after I am gone. I carried him his whole life, and I will carry him as long as I live. My biggest fear is that no one will carry him after I'm gone. It is so easy for the world to forget a soul they never saw or held. But I did see him. I held him. I rocked him in my arms. I told his body goodbye, but his memory will live on in me forever. 

The grief, the fears, the hurt, the worries....they can be overwhelming if you're trying to face them alone. So thankful for a Savior who knows them all before I even have the chance to tell Him about them--



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