Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Life Just Isn't Fair

Barrett's Gender Reveal Party
Tomorrow will be 9 weeks since Barrett left us. Looking back, these last 9 weeks have been incredibly difficult. I wish no mother had to bury a child. It's not fair. But, life isn't fair and that's the truth. But, praise God it isn't always fair.

On my way to work yesterday, I heard the song This Man by Jeremy Camp. It has always been one of my favorites.--

In only a moment truth was seen
Revealed this mystery
The crown that showed no dignity He wore

And the King was placed
For all the world to show disgrace
But only beauty flowed from this place

Would you take the place of this Man?
Would you take the nails from His hands?
Would you take the place of this Man?
Would you take the nails from His hands?

He held the weight of impurity
The Father would not see
The reasons had finally come to be to show

The depth of His grace
Flowed with every sin erased
He knew that this was why He came

Would you take the place of this Man?
Would you take the nails from His hands?
Would you take the place of this Man?
Would you take the nails from His hands?

And we just don't know
The blood and water flowed
And in it all He showed
Just how much He cared

And the veil was torn
So we could have this open door
And all these things have finally been complete

Would you take the place of this Man?
Would you take the nails from His hands?
Would you take the place of this Man?

Would you take the nails from His hands?

As I listened to the song, I imagined what his mother was going through as her son died a horrible and brutal death on the cross. My son left so peacefully and in no pain. But Mary watched her son be beaten and torn apart--she watched him suffer in agony. But what did He do to deserve that? Nothing. Life isn't always fair.

Jesus didn't deserve to die on the cross, and I don't deserve the grace He gives me. If life was fair, I would spend eternity in hell. Praise God that life isn't always fair.
Holding Barrett's first ultrasound

So, looking back on the last 9 weeks--yeah they've been hard. The hardest thing I've ever been through. Losing a child is the hardest thing a mother can go through here on earth. But at the same time, they have been the most incredible 9 weeks I've ever been a part of.

I have seen God move in ways that I never could have imagined. I have made lasting friendships with some incredible women. God took the small idea for Barrett's Blankets and grew it into something bigger than I ever dreamed of in a matter of days--Not only are the blankets going all over the U.S. already, but they will soon be heading to other countries as well. Everyday I am in awe. I can never say thank you enough to my God for the blessings He pours into our lives everyday and to everyone who has helped to make Barrett's Blankets what it is becoming today.

In a couple of weeks, I will be hand delivering a large load of blankets--so far they have always been mailed, so I'm very excited about seeing where they are going.

The night before Barrett was born, as I lay wide awake dreading what was to come, I asked God to tell me Why? Why my son? I never imagined the answer I would get. Seeing how many lives have been changed and touched by Barrett's life has brought me so much comfort--I love hearing from each and everyone of you.

So, thank you, thank you, thank you for your support, your encouragement, your love, your help, and your prayers--

8 comments:

  1. Thank you for this post. I've been having an especially down week. I needed a reminder that even though this life isn't fair and I'm angry a lot, God has been more than gracious to forgive me.

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