Saturday, October 13, 2012

Footprints in the Sand

Walking for Barrett and so many more
Today we traveled to Pascagoula, MS for Footprints in the Sand, a walk for pregnancy and infant loss by Our Gulf Coast Angels. We left bright and early--it was still dark here! Every day this week Audrey has asked me if it was time for us to go walk for Barrett. She was so excited about sending him a note and a balloon.

This was the first year for this event, and I thought OGCA did a great job putting it together. I know we all really enjoyed it--the walk, the balloon release, the candle lighting--and Audrey loved all of the activities for the children.

Audrey's note to Barrett
During the candle lighting, Audrey kept a watchful eye on her little brother's candle. She didn't move from her "post" until we picked all of the candles up. When her daddy picked her up, she laid her head on his shoulder and started to cry. I kept asking her what was wrong and finally she said "I want my brother". And I couldn't even answer her as the tears welled up in my eyes and I choked back sobs. Audrey never got to meet Barrett, but the love she has for him is so intense for a child her age and it just amazes me. Watching her grieve for him though, is almost enough to break me. I am grieving for Barrett, and at the same time completely torn to pieces that I can't take that pain from my daughter. She is an amazing big sister! When this happened, a song by Reba McEntire:

What do you say in a moment like this?
When you can't find the words to tell it like it is
Just close your eyes and let your heart lead the way
Oh, what do you say?

Waiting to release Barrett's balloon
I'm living this new life as I go. Sometimes there are questions I'm not sure how to answer or times when my heart is completely shattered. All I can do is pray for the right words to say to comfort my living child and help her to understand the best that I can.

I loved doing something today to remember Barrett and so many other angels (To another special mommy, I was thinking of your Ella Bella too!).

I encourage you to check out Our Gulf Coast Angels and all that they are doing!

Precious Child 
by: Karen Taylor-Good



In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'Cause you are with me still

In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child

In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still

In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then

In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart


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